Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.

~Eckhart Tolle

 

If given our way, most people stay where they are. We accept ourselves to be how we have always been, behaving or responding in ways we have always done. We assume that this is who we are, take it or leave it. And this is fine; it’s worked so far for us, right?

I recently coached a gentleman to use more breath support when he spoke, thus giving him a fuller tone to his voice. His first response was; that if I use more breath, I go into my announcer’s voice. My response was, Well, don’t. Instead, use your breath to support what we are working on.

He was stuck.; dumbfounded. It was an either-or for him, no in-between, just black or white.

Feeling stuck happens to us all. Sometimes the most creative and successful people fall into periods where they feel glued to a situation. We all get to those places in life that feel like: this is it, this is how I do it, this is how I have always responded, so, therefore, it is how I am. Unless you want something more, this is true.

However, if you want to actualize more of your potential and feel stuck, it’s time to get out of your way.

Each of us is made up of the thoughts that we have curated over our lives. Some are newer based on more recent experiences, yet many we have honed for our lifetime. Most of those thoughts are most likely positive and contribute to a healthy life, while others are camouflaged; we think they are helpful but are not. Those are the ones blocking us from success and the lives we dream of. Those are the ones that stand in our way, and they are there solely because, up until now, we have been ok with it.

Getting unstuck, as all change, happens first by becoming aware that what we have been doing is no longer yielding the results we hope for. Sometimes in life, we have placed the bar of achievement unrealistically high, and other times it may be non-existent because we have become complacent that nothing will change.

This awareness often comes when we are at the end of our ropes, everything is going haywire, our dreams are not actualizing, or our relationships are failing. Often hitting rock bottom can stimulate the desire or necessity to change.

Sometimes we are not quite at the bottom. Yet there is niggling feeling that there is more. For example, we may be bored with life and want to shake it up: we quit our jobs, end our relationships, pack our bags, and hit the road. This certainly may help shake it up. However, if we don’t do some inner housekeeping, we will find ourselves in the same situation: different jobs, different partners, new scenery, and the same disappointments.

It takes effort to get unstuck. No one can do it for us. We can hire a therapist to guide us, but the work is all ours.

How do we get unstuck?

Surrender to the unknown. Let go of the past, your false objectives, and the ideas you thought were true. We must move away from those beliefs that stand in our way to greatness.

This allows us to change our perspective.

Altering our environment can assist in changing our perspective. An accessible and enjoyable way is to get wet. Just immersing in water increases blood flow to the brain, so get in the water. Most of us have free access to a shower or bath. If you have a  swimming pool or body of water to jump in, go for it.

Once you are dried off, start gathering new information on how to approach the situation and while doing so, ask yourself what could change to make this fun? Again, having an optimistic mindset will alter the struggle.

Find the positives, the small things that make a big difference; washing the dishes creates a clean and uncluttered kitchen, or researching the meaning of a word makes the sentence flow better. Doing small things allows us to feel in control. It is a practice of being hopeful. Starting with what we can manage makes the notion that possibility becomes a reality.

Be honest with who we are. Explore our purpose. Not knowing who we are, puts unrealistic pressures on us. Go deep and look for the patterns of when self-doubt and lack of confidence creep in. Do you experience limitations? Do you ignore problems? Are you ultra-critical of yourself or others? Do you undermine who you are?

Then believe in what you are capable of. So often, when we discount our strengths and top talents, we feel stuck. Whether you write it down or repeat it in your mind, make a list of all your strengths, and don’t forget the incidental small ones, i.e., I’m great at organizing schedules or can always make someone smile. Limitations only exist within our minds. By using our imaginations, we can blow away our self-imposed restraints.

Nothing positive happens when we ignore the signals of problems coming. It takes more energy to avoid the situation than to face it. Stand up with your head held high, shoulders back, and take a deep breath. Let the possibilities flow. Allow your plans to surface, then take action. An idea without a plan is just a dream. So, move aside from the naysayers you hold in your mind, take a leap of faith that what you imagine is attainable, and get a move on shaping your life.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

~Lao Tzu