When you think  you are too small to make a difference, you have never tried to sleep with a mosquito.

African Proverb

As many of you know who have been following my blog, I have been impacted by the recent California Wildfires along with many of my friends and family.

After the initial relief that my property came through with minimal damage, I realized that I was still under immense stress. Even as I write, the stress is stirring around in the background. Since the rains have just begun to arrive, as is true each year after the fires burn all to ash, the rains come to wash the ash away… Or, as often happens, the rains create the next yearly natural disaster, the mudslides. Let us hope that this yearly occurrence will not follow last year’s massive disaster.

One of my coping mechanisms, when stressed, is to become active. The other is to become very quiet and still. Initially, I became active. Perhaps I choose activity because my adrenaline would not yet allow me the stillness.

During the days when so many had evacuated their homes, my action was to feed my friends, help with horses, and take food to people and pets that were claiming a parking lot for their home. I guess instead of stress eating, I was vicariously enjoying others’ eating. My stomach was in knots, but it made me feel better to feed others.  I was making a human to human contact, and it was comforting.

The thoughts we may have when we think about doing something helpful, useful, life-altering, etc., are often accompanied by grandeur thoughts of feeding ALL of the world’s starving children or saving ALL of the animals.

A mantra that I must repeat on and off in my life is ” You can’t save all of the {Blank},”

I have struggled all of my life with this desire to take in every four-legged that needed some help. And when I was younger, I would become distressed because I did not know how I would save the world.

Those grandeur thoughts can turn to disappointment and disillusionment when the prospects of how to accomplish it begin to look daunting. While the intentions begin as a positive idea, they become extinguished when no action is taken.

Thoughts can then turn to “If I  cannot do something amazing and global, then what is the point in doing anything at all?”

This is where I came to one of my Let Go moments. Realizing I could not make a dent in saving the world was depressing me.

Then I changed my thoughts of what a world was.

My Ah-Ha moment was when  I understood we all live in our own worlds. However big or small, every one of us has our own reality. Instead of trying to save the entire world, I realized that I could, in fact, take steps to make a difference in the world of individuals, one person at a time. Or as in my case also, in the life of one animal at a time.

 One definition of the word World is:  the sphere or scene of one’s life and action.

 

So, while in my ‘action’ mode, I reached out to my community of friends, colleagues, and actors, asking if anyone wanted to donate gift cards or essentials to fire victims I collected for my personal tribe. My tribe consisted of my friends and friends of friends that had lost everything. And also, as it turns out, of perfect strangers.

With the efficiency of social media, emails with gift cards attached and donations began rolling in. As soon as I would receive something, it would get passed on to someone in need. I felt like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, Innately people are good. They want to help.  They need to know how to. To know that contributions are a grassroots effort and would be directly handed to someone in need made a choice easy by creating the simplicity of how to help allowed individuals to take action.

Some sent gift cards via mail, so I had a small stack in my car to hand out as I ran into people that needed it. My priority was those that lost everything.  Although $25 or $50 may not be life-changing in the scope of a total loss, it grew tenfold with the thought behind it.

“It’s the thought that counts”,  in this case proved to be true and  powerful.

Just a day or so after the fire started, many were not yet allowed back into their homes or neighborhoods; while I was at a store, I overheard a woman at the cashier next to me explain to the cashier that she had lost everything in the fire.  As I quietly observed her, I watched her pull an envelope of cash from her purse. As she looked inside, she commented that she didn’t have enough cash and needed to grab her wallet, which she had left in her car. She grabbed her purse, commented to the cashier that she would be right back, just needed to grab her wallet from the car, and she walked out of the store.

The cashier, annoyed, commented to the cashier that was helping me ‘ What am I supposed to do now?”

I chimed in, “She’ll be right back; she just left her wallet in the car.”

My cashier then said, ” But we can’t hold up the line for one person.”

My next comment was, “She just lost her house in the fire, give her a break.”

The cashier helping her said, ” How do you know that?”

Exasperated, I responded, ” She just told you.”

I  quickly checked out. Walking to my car, I saw that she was, in fact, returning to the store.  Dropping my package in my car, I returned with two gift cards.

Approaching her in the checkout, I said, “Excuse me, I could not help overhearing that you have lost your home. I know this is not much, but please accept these cards and use them to treat yourself to something that you need”.

In disbelief, tears welled up in her eyes, and mine teared up as well…we hugged. She kept thanking me, and I told her thanks were unnecessary; however,  I told her that I would pass the thanks along to my tribe. Most likely, l  will never see her again, her name is Lisa, but through the generosity of those sent in these gifts, they unknowingly have made a ‘dent’ in Lisa’s world.

The stories of generosity are numerous, and I could retell so many small kindnesses that I have heard tell. Most often, the stories that bring tears to those sharing their experiences are of the smallest things—the offer of WiFi, of a cup of coffee, or a dog bed for a displaced pet.

A gesture of understanding can have far-reaching effects on someone who is feeling disassociated from their former lives. Never underestimate how powerful, simple courtesies are. When one is cold, an offer to step inside a warm room may be the most valuable gesture offered.

As with all things, we arrive at our destination step by step. To Let Go of the idea that to save the world was a daunting task, and instead to come to understand to the save the world was as simple as having compassion for a fellow human’s frailties, even if those frailties were a temporary condition, for me was a giant step.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. – Margaret Mead

 

 

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