“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere”
– Erma Bombeck

With the world topsy-turvey, the fear of the unknown is running untethered. And while “times they are a-changing,” as Bob Dylan prophetically sings, living in a world of worry, designed with a shaky foundation of what-ifs, will not solve the anxiety many are experiencing.

Life does not move forward if we live in the possibilities of doubt; it only steals us of time, keeping us stuck where we are. Worry and fear cut through our minds, making a deep groove; positive thoughts have no foothold.

A fraction of worry in our lives is average. Yet, when fear consumes us with the worst-case scenarios and the what-ifs interfere with our lives, dominating our thoughts, we have stepped onto a train going nowhere.

Chronically plagued with worrisome thoughts is a behavior that can be changed.

We must first acknowledge that our current behavior, belief, or situation is no longer productive to make a change. Only then can we move out of that patterned behavior.

It is common to think of rolling around the possibilities of what could happen, hoping if we focus on it long enough, it will yield a solution, but worry does not pave the way for tomorrow’s clarity; it only robs us of our strength to move on.

Far from the solution, it keeps us steeped in the drama of the unknown; it is, in fact, the problem.

“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.”
– Harold Stephen

 

There are two kinds of worry. Those that are solvable, my car needs a tune-up, or unsolvable, which deals in the unknown. By focusing on unsolvable problems: the worst-case scenarios do not prepare us for the future but only rob us of the present.

The good news is we can train the brain to stay calm and to develop a perspective that stands on balance.

How do we dissipate worry?

We must acknowledge it is a choice.

We cannot multitask. To worry and stay optimistic at the exact moment cannot happen. To disarm, it can be as simple as focusing on something else. Start a project that is for the good of others. Read to someone who can no longer see, run errands, or offer to assist in some way. So often, when we take our attention away from our own lives and instead focus on the needs of others, we move away from our inner dialogue.

Stop believing how you feel is a reality. Living with high anxiety, thinking is often caused by exaggerating the level of threat felt. Our perceived inability to handle the situation only serves to perpetuate the fear. Find someone who can be your touchstone and assist you in seeing life from a clear view. Avoid those who do the opposite.

Stop using over-generalizations: everyone, everything, always. Encapsulating the totality of a single thought, i.e., everyone is anxious when they go to the dentist. This all-or-nothing way of thinking is not based on truth.

Focusing on the negatives or the mistakes will perpetuate worry. Making one mistake does not mean you will always make the same mistake. Allow yourself the gift of failure.

To leave the world of worry only takes a change in perspective. What we think will manifest. The power to create our lives, including the world in which we live, is accomplished with effort and unrelenting focus. Instead of the what-ifs, which will never come to be, I focus on things working out, staying healthy, and life unfolding effortlessly. What do you choose?

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
~ The Dalai Lama