Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

~ Dalai Lama

Most people want to be happy; it is not a novel idea. Society has programmed us that happiness is a life goal. Feel-good movies abound, and songs are written about it. We all seem to want it, but few people have it. My first experience of happiness as a social concept started with the now-iconic yellow smiley face symbolizing sunshine and a smile. It began as an advertisement for State Farm and, in the ’70s, was transformed into a universal slogan: Have a Happy Day.

Waiting until life is perfect or when it isn’t hard won’t suddenly transform you into a happy person. Happiness doesn’t miraculously appear, nor does it happen with the snap of the fingers. It also doesn’t happen if we strive for it. Instead, it happens when we shed those things that don’t contribute to being it.

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When happiness is externally focused, we are at the mercy of forces and situations out of our control. Therefore, shifting our mindset on how we see life is crucial.

Life is a manifestation of our perspective. The repercussions of our choices are seen through the attitudes we exhibit. Each day brings with it a new opportunity to choose to be happy. The sun rises and sets without qualifying if it is having a good or bad day, essentially guiding us to do the same. Our thoughts and emotions have no bearing on flowers blooming or the stars shining, yet they have the power whether we see the beauty in it.

Change your perspectives, and your world will change.

Our perspectives are formed by collecting society’s viewpoints, outlooks, and attitudes. Many of these points of view have nothing to do with our actual thoughts. They are second-hand thoughts that were laid upon us. As we have grown and evolved, we understand that we have the choice to shed those perspectives that hold us in a place of unhappiness.

Fulfillment is fundamental to happiness. Focusing on those things internally that we value, using actions that add to our lives, those around us, and society at large provides a framework of joy. Living our lives with integrity and goodness is a foundation for feeling good.

Stop comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone with more, but are they happier? Once our basic survival needs are met, we have shelter, food, and water; the playing field is leveled. When we cease to focus on the external and instead on our inner lives, we begin the discovery of self. It is where the real work happens, where we can change. The quality of our inner thoughts is what we spread throughout our world.

Refrain from complaining about a situation, someone, or yourself. By choosing peace, you can diffuse an unhealthy vibe. Instead, find a way to spread genuine compliments, thereby continuing the joy.

Count your blessings. Focusing on what is, not on what isn’t, what you have, not what is lacking, and expressing gratitude; is a simple way to telegraph your happiness.

Find joy in the contributions you make to your daily life; the meal you prepared, the menial tasks you performed, or the calendar of events you are sorting through. Our emotional well-being is satisfied when we have chosen to enrich the well-being of ourselves and others.

Smile, just like the yellow smiley face; the very act of smiling will change the neurotransmitters in our brains.

Stop the personal pursuit of happiness and instead look for ways you can spread it. The sheer energy of giving will, in turn, be expressed back to you tenfold. For example, if you keep your joy to yourself, thinking one day you will allow yourself to be it, a day will come when you look back on your life and see that it was joyless. Yet if you find a way to expand your happiness each day, that energy will surround your every move.

Creating our life is an active practice. It is about embracing the knowledge that we have the power to make it how we want.  Where we put our attention is what we will draw to us. From the words of Henry David Thoreau, live the life you’ve imagined.

Life doesn’t exist without strife; happiness depends on how we navigate it. It is simply the byproduct of the choices we make.

Happiness is a how; not a what. A talent, not an object.

~ Hermann Hesse