“We have many ways of creating our realities based on the the different ways we perceive.”
― Zamm Zamudio

What we see is not always what it is. It is only our perception of it. Life is not black or white; it lives instead in the subtle, complicated shades of gray.

To see both sides of a situation, we only need to cross the road and look from the other side. That simple shift is a gift; it asks us to soften our gaze and consider that our first interpretation may not be the whole story.

And because seeing is not absolute, your perception may not be my perception. Still, your perception is real to you just as mine is real to me. Perceptions are based on what we see, hear, smell, and touch—all of which shape our experiences and, in turn, our realities. Our senses gather the data, but our stories give it meaning.

Nothing, then, is absolute. You may want to avoid a puddle of mud, but it is an inviting playground for a child or a dog. You may revel in a rainy day while others may find it gray and heavy. What sounds like a wonderful piece of music may be noise to your ears. Reality shifts depending on who is standing in front of it.

And this is true not only of moments, but of people. We generally connect with people when we share the same point of view. It is when our perceptions collide that conflicts begin to surface. The same holds for our lives.

Our perception of where our life is supposed to be or what we are supposed to be doing becomes conflicted when those realities are not as we had pictured them. Expectation and reality rarely arrive in the same outfit.

When we feel we are in the wrong place, we may be in the right place, looking at things the wrong way. It’s difficult in the moment, when life goes awry, but I always find the silver lining in hindsight. And when I am conscious enough to notice it in real time, I will embrace a delay in the moment, knowing it was meant ot be.

This same blur between perceptions shows up wherever relationships end. All of us have been in a relationship that has ended; a friendship, a work relationship, or a matter of the heart, and we all have our own story of why it ended. There are at least three perceptions: ours, theirs, and somewhere in the middle. That middle space is often where truth sits quietly, and it’s often the space we are most uncomfortable looking into.

It is in this discomfort that convincing others of our point of view helps justify our self-perception. But really, none of those perspectives matter because nothing is black-and-white. They are simply interpretations trying to make sense of change.

That adjustment period is familiar in other forms, too. Walking from a darkened room into the bright sunshine takes a moment for our eyes to adjust. The same holds when we find ourselves in a new situation. Our perception must readjust. Clarity takes time, and each chapter requires recalibrating how we see.

Suspending our belief that life is black or white allows us to see the nuances of grayscale and find opportunities in the new landscape before us. We are, in fact, exactly where we are meant to be, even if it doesn’t look like the picture we once imagined.

We cannot control every twist and turn life creates for us. But knowing a shift in perception may be all it takes to see what changes life has provided. A slight tilt of the head can reveal what was hidden in plain sight.

So let us cock our heads, squint our eyes, or take a step to the side to see what opportunities are in store for us. In time, we will come to see that our lives are, in fact, neither black nor white but may fall into many shades of gray. And in those shades, possibility quietly expands.

“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.” 
― C.S. Lewis