Save Yourself First

You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.

~ unknown

Self-love and self-care are not the same. Getting a massage, taking a hot bath, or turning off the phone, are forms of self-care, which is a part of self-love. Self-love is prioritizing your needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.

When we hold ourselves in high esteem, we are more likely to make choices that nurture our well-being which serve our higher selves and society. Not to be confused with narcissism, self-love is a holistic way of being.

When giving safety instructions on an airplane before takeoff, flight attendants instruct parents to put on their own oxygen mask before putting it on their child.

Without putting our well-being first, we are unable to help others.

How does one get there?

We may need to unlearn patterns that have been etched upon our psyches that do not serve our higher self. Once identified, we can learn new ways to move forward in life.

Actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth come from a mindset that embraces appreciation for ourselves.

1. Learn to forgive yourself. When you falter or regress, have empathy and compassion, they are an antidote to shame.

2. The attitude we have toward ourselves guides how we treat others and how others treat us. Treat yourself as you would a best friend.

3. Do things because you want to. Change your mindset about “getting things done” or “having to do.”

4. Develop JOMO: an acronym for the Joy of Missing Out, refers to the gratifying feeling from living quietly or independently without feeling anxious that one is missing out on events that may be happening elsewhere.

5. Stop people-pleasing. You can care for others without sacrificing your well-being. Setting boundaries is an expression of self-love.

6. Understand there is perfection in our imperfections. Embrace the flaws. Each perceived flaw is the uniqueness that makes us the incredible original that we are. Learning to love our flaws also translates into acceptance of others.

Ways to Practice Self-Love

Change your self-talk: Talk to and about yourself with love.

Prioritize yourself. Don’t allow your needs to take a back seat to others.

Give yourself a break from self-judgment.

Forgive yourself when you stumble.

Refrain from comparisons.

Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say no. No is a complete sentence and requires no explanation.

Turn away from automatic behavior patterns that keep you stuck in the past.

Trust your intuition.

Align with your moral and spiritual values.

Nourish and maintain healthy relationships and let go of those that diminish you. Your tribe is your biggest supporter and wants you to succeed. If they do not, they are not your tribe, create a new one.

Whether it be within specific relationships or life in general, understanding our value and worth prevents us from settling for less than we deserve. Learning to let go of those behaviors that no longer allow us to grow is a pathway to ultimate happiness, love, and balance.

Self-love is linked with increased resilience, in turn keeping us happier and healthier. When practiced daily by nourishing ourselves with healthy activities, sound nutrition, proper sleep, exercise, and balanced social interactions, it acts as a catalyst in shifting the energy and altering our perspective, thus allowing for a deeper capacity to see things with an uplifted mindset.

Life is short, and in the end, the regrets will be that time ran out before we were able to do the things that gave us joy. Take the time to bask in yourself, bathing in self-love.