When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.
~Confucius
Do you announce your goals to the world, or keep them private while you test the waters? Each approach has pros and cons; the manner we choose can vary, yielding different results. If you share goals, what method is best for reaching them?
Science suggests the answer isn’t as simple as yes or no. It depends on timing, audience, and psychology.
To Share or Not to Share?
Share your goals, but do it strategically.
When we achieve a goal, dopamine floods the brain’s pleasure center. However, announcing goals too early can trick the brain into releasing dopamine prematurely, thus reducing motivation. Likewise, our body prepares for that eventual pleasure chemical when we set a goal, which can be short-circuited by telling people beforehand.
When we receive praise, dopamine is released in our brains, giving us a sense of premature accomplishment. But, unfortunately, this early praise fools us into believing we have already achieved our aim; thereby, sharing our goals with anyone willing to listen can inadvertently dissipate our motivation. This is where the paradox lies: Praise can inspire, but it can also deflate.
We essentially cheat ourselves. Our incentive is reduced in a very physical way because we have already felt the accolades. It’s like eating dessert before the main course. You have satisfied the craving, but lost your appetite for dinner.
However, there are times when sharing our goals is productive. Who we share our goals with is an essential factor in achieving them. So the question becomes not whether to share but with whom.
If you care what the person thinks of you, you may also have an impetus to do well. Sharing your goals with a higher-up can keep you accountable and motivated because you have hopes of a promotion or raise. This ulterior motivation can keep you on your game.
The closer the relationship, the more often it yields the best response. For example, rather than telling everyone you meet that you will run a marathon, share it with those who will assist and encourage you to cross the finish line.
This is why community, training with like-minded ones, or accountability partners, often becomes the secret component to success.
However, accountability partners can be powerful- only if they offer the right kind of support. Therefore, the usefulness depends on who you choose. How they use praise and their commitment are paramount.
We can receive two types of praise, and one style strengthens the likelihood of reaching our goals. Here’s where psychology offers a crucial distinction.
Process praise emphasizes your work, effort, or actions, leading to better outcomes. For example, recognition in the form: ” You must have worked hard; it is well executed.” Or I commend you for the many strategies implemented until you succeeded. Think of a coach who applauds the effort and hours of practice, rather than just the win.
Whereas Person praise–you are smart– can backfire, especially with those with fragile self-esteem. It may create pressure instead of encouragement. When giving credit for someone’s personal qualities, you must be smart. Or you did it before and got good marks, so don’t worry, you can do it again, which can generate anxiety. These comparisons may cause undue stress to measure up and fear of not accomplishing the goal. Interestingly, there is a tendency to give inflated praise to those with lower self-esteem, thinking it is helpful.
There’s nothing as satisfying as setting goals and achieving them; it feels good to get acknowledged, and who doesn’t want more of that? So, when we hear positive feedback on our progress, it can ignite a commitment to the goal, increasing our push to reach it and providing positive reinforcement. But before you tell the world, start whatever you want to accomplish, then reach out for support. In other words, let the action lead and the sharing follow.
Choose who you share with carefully, but sharing with others who have your true success in their sights can be valuable. The benefits of that support can outweigh the cost of reducing dopamine in your brain. It will be evident to you if you found the correct person if you feel more motivated, not less. Notice how your energy shifts after sharing – does it spark momentum or drain it? This is your clue.
There is another factor in how to communicate our plans. Beyond who we share with, there is also the question of what we share.
Achieving goals and maintaining motivation are also achieved by keeping the end goal to ourselves while sharing what we are proactively doing to reach it.
Our human need is to connect. As social beings, we share our goals (with the right people) to tap into this basic human need for community. To share or not to share comes down to knowing who and when to do it.
Hold off on shouting it to the world and let the achievement be the grand reveal. This way, the celebration becomes not just yours but a gift for those who witnessed your journey.
Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.
—Tony Robbins
